


Tord Brings A Porn To The Library (Anime Club Parody)

by dixiestix



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Violence, au where tord is the leader of an anime club instead of communist's army, not as suggestive and smutty as the title says, this is basically a parody of the anime club comic by kc green
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 13:56:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8211010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dixiestix/pseuds/dixiestix
Summary: Yup.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even think this needs a description  
> It's just a parody of The Anime Club by JC Green  
> If you haven't seen it, you can read it over here (http://gunshowcomic.com/ac/) or just watch the dub of it on Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8C86XAjxeU)  
> The person who dubbed it only did parts 1-4 if you're interested, so you'll have to read the final chapter on the website

“YOU BROUGHT WHAT?!?”

Four males in different colored hoodies occupied the Library today. One in purple, who had asked the question, faced flushed red. One in navy blue, arms crossed observing the scene. One in green, sitting in a chair, watching anime and relatively uninterested in the oncoming argument. And finally, one in red, who looked irritated by what he thought was an unnecessary comment.

“We’re g-gonna watch an animated p-porno?” The male in the purple hoodie asked, spitting the words out as if he were calling the name of Lucifer in a satanic ritual.

“The term is ‘hentai’, Matt.” The male in the red hoodie said matter-of-factly, hand gesture included.

“Tord, you idiot! We can’t watch porn here!” The male in the navy blue hoodie shouted, already knowing that watching such explicit content in a public domain was a terrible idea.

“THE TERM, TOM,” Tord started, extremely offended by the mistaken genre of the video content. “IS ‘HENTAI’.” Tord inhaled sharply, resting a hand on his temples. “You uncultured swine.” He spat.

Tom stood there, taken aback by the insult. He too inhaled sharply, slapping both hands onto his temples. “The size of the balls on you must be gigantic for you to say that to me.” He replied, obviously peeved. “We can’t watch porn here at the meeting! If we got caught, we would be kicked out of the Library!” He advised, dramatically spreading out his arms. “Then what, huh?! WHERE WOULD THE ANIME CLUB GO?!”

“Well, we can’t go back to Edd’s house--”

“We can NEVER go back to Edd’s house.” Tom interrupted.

“And we’re NOT gonna get kicked out of here!” Tord protested. “I know it took us forever to get this sweet spot in the Library. I’m not gonna fuck that up, guys!!” Tom glared at him, arms crossed.

“But,” Tord added, mood shifting. “I’m not gonna let this classic go unnoticed by the anime club!” He smirked, pulling out VCR tape like a new toy.

“Woah…” Matt exclaimed in awe.

“HOLY SHIT!” Tom’s irritation melted away at the sight of the bootleg, replaced by peaked interest.

“This 1980’s classic just got a pro dub job and release over in Europe.” Tord boasted. “There saying it’s too hardcore for an American release, but they missed the beautiful story underneath it all, and just label it as ‘porn’.”

Tom once again double face palmed himself, realizing what video format the movie is in.

“We don’t have a VCR, Tord.” Edd added.

“Well, then it’s a good thing I also brought a digital copy of the movie!” Tord pulled out the CD version of the movie from his pocket.

“What? Why the hell would you get two copies of the same movie?” Tom inquired, his irritation making a expected return.

Tord stared at Tom, CD in hand. “Once again, Tom, I fail to comprehend why you would ask such a stupid question.”

“Now get the projector ready!” Tord ordered Tom as he begrudgingly set up the equipment.

 

* * *

 

 

The sight before the library was destined to be a colossal failure. The terribly done moans and groans were the only noise in the library, and the four males sat in their seats. There was Matt, engulfed and completely awestruck by the movie as if he were witnessing the birth of Christ. Tom stared, taking on his crossed arm social cue and staring at the screen with a repulsed expression on his face. Tord had a similar expression to Matt’s, hand clapped together, taking in the ‘beauty’ of the film. Then there was Edd, with an indifferent expression on his face, unsure what to feel at the moment.

“What’s the matter, princess?” The male in the film asked.

“I-I’m just so unsure if I’m ready for all this... responsibility.”

A series of sexual sounds emitted from the movie. It was surprising how they were able to get away with watching the movie without discourse. But just as it seemed things were going smoothly, a tragedy occurred.

“Princess, I’m certain we could fit one more house in your- in--in yo---” The movie suddenly paused.

“Uhh...” Tord was the first to speak. “It stopped? What? Is the movie file messed up?”

“Thank god.” Tom sighed in relief.  
“What the hell’s going on here?” Tord stood up, hands placed on his hips. “Edd, are you sure you cleared your-”

“Woah!” Tom exclaimed. “It’s a virus!” He pointed at the screen, and it displayed the message “KILLALLNERDS.exe” along with a pop-up deleting all the animes saved on Edd’s laptop.

Edd then stood up, and dropped to his knees. “NOOOOOOOOAAAAAA-” Edd cried out.

“What the FUCK, Tord?!” Tom shoved Tord angrily. “Where the hell did you buy an INFECTED BOOTLEG?!”

“From what I thought was a trusted vendor…” Tord replied, resting a hand to his chin. “And I share Edd’s pain in knowing that long-time imports vendor can no longer be trusted.” He added, as Edd cried a river onto the shaggy carpeting of the Library.

“You ‘share’ his ‘pain’???” Tom stared in disbelief at Tord and the sheer arrogance behind his bullshit remark. “You…” He started. “dense MOTHERFUCKER.”

Tord scowled at Tom with a disgusted expression on his face. “You’ve been unhelpful this entire time, Tom…” He approached Tom, shoving a finger to his chest. “So if there’s something you wanna say, I suggest you get it out _now_.”

Tom spreaded his arm out wide. “Oh, yeah! Here’s something I wanna get off my chest.” He pushed Tord’s finger off of him aggressively. “You shouldn’t be the leader of the anime cl--”

He was cut off by Tord left hooking Tom in the face. “Oh you fucker.” Tom spoke in a deathly tone, holding his injured cheek.

“You are the only fucker in this scenario, Tom.” Tord screeched before getting uppercutted by Tom. It sent him back a few feet and caused him to crash into the cart holding the project and Edd’s laptop.

The two of them quickly went at it, throwing punches and kicks and shouting things like “I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!” Meanwhile, as Edd continued to ball and Tord and Tom fought, Matt remain seated in his chair, mouth agape and lost in his own little world.

“It took...all those horses…” He whispered to himself.

He shot up from his seat, arms up as if he had discovered the meaning of life. “I LOVE ANIME!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, while chaos ensued in the background.

**Author's Note:**

> If this gets enough attention and demand I'll probably write the other parts if I feel like it


End file.
